How to Give Up on Someone You Love (5 Easy, Effective Steps)
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When You Love Someone Who Doesn’t Love You Back…
Love is a double-edged sword—when it’s reciprocated, it can be blissful and heavenly, but when it’s a one-way street, it’s often painful and heartbreaking.
Getting over people is hard—whether it’s recovering from a difficult breakup or coming to terms with a case of unrequited love, we’ve all been there, and it’s important to give yourself a chance to heal.
But there comes a point where you must accept defeat and move on with your life because dwelling on something you have no control over is only a waste of time and energy.
The same energy that could be spent doing other things. Luckily for you, we’ve compiled a five-step method for how to give up on someone you love.
How to Give Up on Someone You Love
1. Get Rid of Reminders of the Person
Have an old love note that you keep reading over and over again? Throw it out. The sweatshirt that he gave you when you were together but you couldn’t bring yourself to return?
Now’s the time to do that. These things may seem minor to you, but every time you see something and get reminded of the person you’re trying to get over, you’re back to square one.
If you’re hanging onto things that make you think of that person, you’re not really trying to get over him. If you can’t bring yourself to completely get rid of sentimental objects, at the very least put them away somewhere you won’t see them every day.
Maybe after a few years, when you’ve truly moved on, you can come back and look at these reminders objectively and it won’t hurt as badly.
2. Find a Distraction
Is there a hobby you’ve always wanted to pick up? Now would be a good time to stop putting it off. Is there anything you used to love doing before your life revolved around this other person?
Get back into it. The sooner you find another purpose for yourself, the sooner you’ll realize that you don’t have time to pine over someone who doesn’t deserve you.
A distraction doesn’t even need to be that ambitious—it could be something as simple as finding a good book to read or starting a new television series.
Anything that effectively takes your mind off of the person in question is a feasible distraction. What you’ll realize when you stop letting one person’s feelings for you define you is that you have many other talents and purposes completely independent from him.
3. Meet New People
If you’re the type of person to go partying on the weekends, this one is easy for you. If you’re not the party type, there are likely still plenty of social events in your area where you’ll be likely to see new faces.
Perhaps you’ll meet someone you like just as much as, if not more than, the person you’re trying to get over but at the very least, you’ll make some new friends who can help you through this situation. Maybe they’re even going through something similar!
Regardless of who you meet, it’s important that you at least get yourself back into social life because sitting at home feeling sorry for yourself is not doing you any favors.
4. Accept That it’s Over
This seems like the simplest step, but it’s often the most difficult. So what does accepting that it’s over involve? Put simply, it involves giving up any hope of you being with this person.
You’ve already done that, you might say, but you’re wrong, and I know you’re wrong because you decided to read this article looking for advice. If you had truly already given up hope, you would be moving on with your life.
This isn’t to say that you can’t think of this person from time to time—the fact that he will continue to cross your mind every now and then is inevitable, and it’s futile to try to prevent it. However, it does mean that you must stop waiting.
Perhaps there’s a cute cashier at the mall that you’ve had your eye on for a while but haven’t gotten up the courage to talk to—is it because some part of you is still hoping the one you love will change his mind about you? If so, go assert your status as a strong, independent woman and talk to that cashier.
5. Realize your Own Self-Worth
Sometimes after you’ve been dumped or rejected, it’s easy to get into the mindset that you’re somehow less valuable as a human being than you once thought. You might wonder what you did wrong. Continuing to think this way is not only toxic to your well being but also a gross misrepresentation of the situation.
One person didn’t want to be with you. One person didn’t reciprocate your love. It’s not you that’s the problem—it’s him, and the sooner you realize that simple fact, the easier it will be to move on.
One person’s feelings (or lack thereof) towards you do not define you. Only you can define you, and the best way to do that is to work toward bettering yourself and exuding confidence wherever you go.
There you have it—a five-step method regarding how to give up on someone you love. We know getting over someone is easier said than done, but we’re hoping these tips can help make the process easier and quicker.
I’d like to reiterate that giving up on someone you love does not necessarily involve forgetting that person completely—the person you’re trying to get over shaped your life in a significant way, and that influence will probably always be with you, even if just in trace amounts.
However, we hope that in the future, you can look back fondly on this time in your life, seeing it not as a burden but as something that helped you grow and contributed to the person you became.
But for now, it’s time to put that person who’s been causing you so much unnecessary grief on the back burner and get out and start living your life again!